Saturday, June 25, 2011


I just visited the National Organization for Marriage's website.  They have a predrafted letter to the senators of New York, and are asking people to send the letter from their servers.  So I did... with the following edits:


I strongly urge you to support the same-sex marriage bill if and when it comes up to a vote in the Senate.

Marriage isn't about discrimination or exclusion, or just a package of government benefits (and occasional penalties).  To me it is more than a long-term, public, sexual union between a man and a woman. Why? Because marriage isn't only about sexual unions that are unique in their ability to produce children -- it's about families and the protection of children, regardless of who the parents are.

Government has no business determining who I love, and denying same-sex couples the right to marry does exactly that -- and while government does have an interest in making sure that as many kids as possible get to know and be loved by their own mother and father, it also has a duty to protect those who are adopted into loving same-sex headed household. Research proves that same-sex unions can do this for a child.

The threat to religious freedom -- and the utter refusal of gay marriage groups to accept any substantive protections for people of faith -- is indeed a major concern, which thankfully has been answered in New York with religious exclusions and expanded protections. For years, anti-gay marriage activists have argued under the banner of tolerance, but now want to silence any opposing views and destroy and belittle our families. All examples of religious groups being forced out of the public square have shown real bigotry and discrimination of gay people.  

Please, there is no other way to protect the legitimate needs of same-sex couples. We have the right to live as we choose, to love who we can, and to protect our families.  We don't want to redefine marriage for everyone, we don't want to oppose or break apart any family, we only want the ability to protect our own. Please and thank you for voting yes on same-sex marriage.



Saturday, June 4, 2011


I would be amiss if I didn’t write something, finally, on pride weekend, right?!  I actually had a great experience that I’d like to share.  I was driving on my way home from Cahoots Thursday after having purchased a rainbow flag.  I was hanging it from my balcony reflecting on the upcoming weekend, and wondering half-seriously if hanging a 4 x 6 rainbow from my balcony was asking for trouble from the few annoying neighbors we have, when I started thinking about my favorite part of pride weekend… which happens to be the Sunday parade.  Sure sure, the cowboy line dancers last year were amazing, and it’s always good to see the club exhibits complete with half naked go-go boy dancers, but I think my favorite entry every years is PFLAG. 

There is nothing more touching to me than to see the family members and friends of gay and lesbians marching in support.  Usually this group is quiet… they don’t have thumping speakers, or extreme looking people; in fact, this group is usually quite homely.  But when I look into the eyes of the mothers, sisters, brothers, fathers, and other relatives of gay people, carrying signs that read “I love my gay son,” I’m reminded of touching moments like in Prayers for Bobby, or the stories I hear of parents responding in love and acceptance of their queer youth.  One of my favorite moments of gay cinema is when the mother in Another Gay Movie simply responds to her son’s coming out with a “Duh! What took you so long?”

I was not one of the kids who got that reaction, and I imagine that most of the people reading this blog wouldn’t be either.  I have friends whose mothers asked them not to come over for mother’s day this year.  I have others who haven’t seen or spoken to their families in years.  This makes me grateful for the family I do have, even if they aren’t willing to march in a pride parade, publicly acknowledging their support.

But then again, it isn’t really about me, but I’m really proud of the PFLAG marchers every year.  They aren’t afraid to look in your eye, and I like to think that when they do, they have the realization that they make a difference to people like me.

Oddly enough, the very next day my mom called.  We usually have a once a week call if I don’t go over to their house during the week.  We usually just chat about how our weeks went, but this time something happened that I just had to share.  When my mom asked what time the festival ended Sunday, I half-jokingly asked her if she wanted to come with us (ok, actually I pictured her marching in the PFLAG group holding a rainbow flag… haha).  I was surprised when she said, “Well, this Sunday is fast Sunday, and your sisters are coming for dinner, but maybe I could find some time to make it.”

Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a time that would work since the festival ends at 4 on Sunday, but when I said, “Well, maybe next year,” her response was that she was really going to have to consider it.

And that’s progress.

Maybe one year…  maybe one year soon…

Monday, January 17, 2011


I promise I'm not dead.  I got a new job!  And this one requires that I use a bit more of my brain than my last one did, which means I don't get to sit around all day and blog like I used to be able to do (not that I did it that often, obviously, ha!).

I just still haven't figured out my new routine, so the blog world probably isn't going to see much of me until I do.  Wishing you all the best!  Be back soon...