Friday, October 29, 2010

Wrong

It’s a good thing that I don’t have an issue admitting when I’m wrong. Ok… maybe I do, but I’m pretty good at doing it anyway.
I was wrong about (Gay) Mormon Guy.

I recognize that I don’t like it when members of the church who have no understanding about homosexuality (and are only looking for excuses to hold their own unfounded bigotries) use members of our own community against us – and so it was during all the General Conference hullabaloo. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that part of my recoil against (Gay) Mormon Guy was because I was told multiple times about how “he” was doing it right and “I” was doing it wrong [insert end of discussion here].

As confident as I am about the path I am on, and even as confident as I am with my relationship with Heavenly Father, sometimes even I need validation, and sometimes I don’t understand why members of the church don’t pray about this issue for each individual gay person they meet. I don’t understand why their love and compassion is reserved only for those who put on a façade of heterosexuality.

But I should have known better. I should have supported GMG in his path, wherever he is on his journey, in whatever the Lord has told him to do and to be.

I allowed the fact that he allows members of the church to use his posts as ammunition against the gay community in general to sour my attitude against him, but after considering his position, the comments I’ve received since my original post, and the fact that he, himself, was courageous enough to confront me directly (and prove me wrong by posting an email address), I don’t think this is his intent.

Perhaps the moho world should hold him accountable regardless of his intent, but I would rather hold accountable the members who misjudge the rest of us.

GMG: regardless of whether or not you consider yourself part of our community, you are. May we reach out a hand of love, support, compassion, and strength to you.

3 comments:

Kiant said...

I really love thsi part:

"As confident as I am about the path I am on, and even as confident as I am with my relationship with Heavenly Father, sometimes even I need validation, and sometimes I don’t understand why members of the church don’t pray about this issue for each individual gay person they meet. I don’t understand why their love and compassion is reserved only for those who put on a façade of heterosexuality."

Ruby Tuesday Williams said...

Except that you're not wrong. gay mormon guy is a fraud. Just like Kim is one. All these who claim to be so high and mighty and pious, they're the worse ones. They're out fucking everyone left and right while preaching to not do it. That's why I think they're the worst. they give false hope when they know full well they're just spreading more of their lies.

Gay Saint said...

Ruby,
I might not have much respect for the approach certain members of our community choose to use in their blogs, but I do know all about, and have a great respect for, the struggle. Frankly, we’re all a bit hypocritical. There isn’t a person on the planet who lives there life fully honest 100% of the time. We all lie or judge and then call others on their lies and judgments.

I tend to prefer to see the good in people, and prefer to take them for their word until I’m proven wrong. My personal opinion is that GMG would throw us to the wolves if he thought it would save himself some spot in heaven, and as such, I can’t say I trust him.

But that doesn’t mean that I should make his struggle any more difficult. It’s the same with Kim. So she’s not perfect. I actually like that about her. I prefer her blog to GMG because at least I know what I’m going to be reading there is an honest portrayal of how she is feeling at the time. I’m sure at the times she writes about the gospel being enough she really feels that and really wants that. I’m sure at the times she’s out making mistakes (or not, as the case may be), or having learning experiences, the gospel wasn’t enough. So she was wrong. She’s struggling. I understand that struggle. It’s awesome that people who share that same struggle can read her blog and say “yup, she messed up too, but her world didn't end.” Whether you think her stance on the church or her sleeping with woman is the mistake, we can all relate.

I don’t relate to GMG – but that doesn’t mean that his trials are any different than mine. So I’ll be here to listen, to trust, and to be trusted. I’ll be here to support anyone in whatever they decide is right for them, even if I don’t relate… because I understand.

And so do you, Ruby. And I think that’s something that a lot of people can’t say in regards to this issue.